This morning as I was making an egg salad sandwich for a late breakfast, a memory from Japan floated to the surface. I was peeling the eggs and because I plunged them in cold water right after cooking them (in the air fryer), the shells did not stick to the white. I remember that on Saturday morning in Hamada, I would meet up with several coffee shop regulars--stakeholders in the community--at the coffee shop below the school I worked in before I headed over the mountains back to Hiroshima where I spent the first half of my week.
Saturday morning was a chance to catch up with what was happening in Hamada and visit with friends while they had the chance to visit with me and practice their English.
The set breakfast at the coffee shop included coffee, a boiled egg and toast for about $5. I find peeling boiled eggs can be a satisfying experience if the shell slips off the egg leaving it perfectly smooth. However, every single Saturday at the coffee shop, I would peel my egg and leave half the white behind with the shell. Not satisfying at all.
One morning as we were all lined up on our usual stools at the coffee shop bar, chatting with the owner, he needed to step away for a few minutes. As I was unsuccessfully peeling the egg, I said something like--I always lose half my egg. My friend looked over at me and said "Marta, we don't come here for the eggs." I was stunned into silence and realized that he was absolutely right. We were there for the eggs, we were there for the friendship, for the conversation and for the sense of having a place to be on a Saturday morning. The set breakfast was just a minor part of the event and the only complaint I had about anything was such a minor part of the big picture, it really didn't rank any negative feelings on my part. In fact, I cannot peel an egg ever without thinking about all the good times we had in the coffee shop over coffee and badly peeled eggs.
Two things here--Re-framing a situation. I grumbled internally each Saturday about my eggs until I was asked to reframe the situation and to consider what was actually important. Once I reframed the situation and realized it wasn't the eggs that were important, I was able to take unsatisfying egg peel in stride. In fact, what I considered at the as a bad experience has in fact left me with enduring pleasurable memories that I might otherwise not revisit. So the balance sheet for those poor boiled eggs is actually positive and not negative in the long run.
The second thing to consider is that not everything has to be perfect. In fact, it was the imperfection of the experience that has indelibly etched the memories. Being able to evaluate what is important and not is critical to being able to hold on to somethings and letting others go which lowers stress and closes the expectation gap.
The Japanese have a method of celebrating imperfections with kintsugi which is the art of repairing broken pottery with gold. It is through the imprecations that we can appreciate the whole. As someone who likes things to be perfectly perfect, learning to accept the imperfections and determining what is important is vital during this restructuring period that I want to embark on.
Note: Egg Salad Sandos are popular in Japan. Rather than mayo I use a little mustard. I also toast the bread since I am having this in the morning. My bread came from the Korean bakery and is closer to Japanese style bread than American bread.
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