I have been casting around on how to proceed with this blog and website since I changed the name and address from Martawiggins.com to Sapphirelucydesigns.com. What exactly do I want Sapphire Lucy Designs to be? How is Sapphire Lucy Designs different from my personal blog? In the midst of all this questioning, I underwent one of the hardest trials I have ever faced--the mortality and death of my hero, my mentor, my confidant, my biggest supporter, my mother. The woman who birthed me and the woman whose body I helped extinguish by administering the drugs that kept her body and the remnants of her soul comfortable once her essence had departed. It was quick, everything was quick, too quick, I wasn't ready to let go but I would never have asked her to stay minute longer.
My mother was my biggest fan, she thought I had talent in writing, talent in photography, talent in what ever caught my interest. My mother, herself, was incredibly talented, she worked hard to create beautiful scapes, decorating, embroidery, sewing, crafting, and up-cycling garage sale finds. Any talents I have were gifts she bestowed upon me. Gifts I do not want to waste.
I want to honor her by continuing with my creative endeavors, sharing my thoughts, and imagination with others and hope that somewhere, somehow, she is able to connect with this. Some days (most days) I just want to crawl under my covers and mindlessly surf short YouTube videos--my attention span is too fractured for anything more. But this is not what she wanted. I know this because she told me, she wanted me and those near and dear to her to seek out joy, to laugh, love and find meaning. She said she had lived her life, she said it was a full life, even if it had been pocked with challenges and hardships. She was proud of her life and proud of the children she raised. Now, she said, she was tired of the pain, tired of struggling with her failing body, she was ready to let go of this life and she was not afraid.
Fall was filled with heartache from the loss and winter has been cold and desolate with moments of comforting warmth provided by family and friends. Two changes of season have passed without my mom. Seasons that have been filled with moments, events, and thoughts that I have wanted to laugh with her, discuss with her, share with her. I never understood how much I depended on her wisdom and support until it could no longer be tapped.
Now a new change of season is in the wings. Spring is coming. Spring a time of renewal and my mom's favorite season. So it is with the changing of season that I find I need to move forward, not on, never on but forward. I want my mom to know that I will be alright. I don't want for her to linger, if that is possible, because she is worried about me. I want her to be free of the tethers of this world and if she is able to sense anything, I want it to be comfort and solace in knowing that she created a strong resilient daughter. So with new found resolve, I will relaunch Sapphire Lucy Designs as a website and a blog. But first...
What exactly is Sapphire Lucy Designs? SLD is any creative endeavor, I decide to undertake or high light. Sapphire Lucy Designs is about tapping into the part of me that finds inspiration in an idea, an image, a style, a look. It's the part of me that seeks growth by creating. It's the part of me that wants to explore and tell someone about it. It's the part of me that wants to share stories--my own and others. The part of me that wants to add beauty, hope, encouragement to the world rather than taking away from it. Sapphire Lucy Designs is in short all the best parts of not just me but everyone. SLD is the me that I wish I were all the time, the me that I don't always care for well enough and the me that I want to become a bigger part of my life. SLD is about offering inspiration and taking care to appreciate the small and large. Sapphire Lucy Designs is about finding balance and joy. Sapphire Lucy Designs is about sharing ideas, images and experiences to invoke inspiration that adds rather than subtracts from our journey.
What you will find at Sapphire Lucy Designs are photos, reviews, craft ideas, recipes, and stories. You will find the uplifting--there will be no negative posts--if I post it, it is because I have found some measure of joy, hope or inspiration in it. I will share new content on Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. Be sure to check in weekly!
Comments