I took this photo on August Sunday, July 30, 2017 at Descanso Gardens. It had been a long summer pulling double and at times triple duty at the library all the while waiting for a surgery date to come through. My ankle increasingly causing me pain throughout the summer to the point that began rolling around the library at the end of the day on a knee scooter.
Earlier that week, my surgery had been scheduled for August 29th and the busy weeks of Summer Reading were winding down. Relief, anxiety, hope, fear was crowding in to my headspace vying for dominance. I woke up that Sunday morning feeling the need some time to myself, to contemplate, to hope and to be one with the world. In other words, I needed some garden time. I didn't have time to go all the way to The Huntington as I was working Sunday reference at the library in a few hours. But Descanso is mere blocks from my home, so I hoped in the car and spent about an hour walking through the gardens.
I walked slowly and purposely. I took time to appreciate the sites, sounds, and smells. Eventually, I ended up in the rose garden. Awaiting me was this lovely bouquet of flowers. Several years ago, the book club read Vanessa Diffenbaugh's book The Language of Flowers. It is a beautiful book about hope after a young girl has been failed time and time again by social services. She connects with the world through the secret meaning of flowers, thus healing herself through connecting with others. This Sunday morning, I looked at these flowers and asked myself what they were telling me. And much to my surprise when I got home, downloaded the photos, they did speak to me. As I adjusted the image, I began to envision nouns on the petals, blending in: Truth, Hope, Trust, Passion, Faith, Beauty, Fidelity, Grace, Courage and Joy as being our words for ourselves. Words that we use to build our lives with integrity. And then Love, that is a different color as it is the verb that allows us to translate our own words into the ability to live a fulfilled life by sharing ourselves with others.
Months have passed, my surgery is behind me. I am still pulling double and at times triple duty. Rehab is making forward backward forward progress, but through it all, I look at this photo and remember the secret words that spoke to me that day and find strength in their power.