It was 1983 and the middle of our Junior year at High School when my best friend began talking about going to college. She and I were the only ones in our group that had plans to go away for college. By the time we graduated, one friend was already married with a child, one had her wedding planned the week after graduation, and two had local jobs & local boys.
Charlotte Turnely and I were the odd ducks, the ones that saw education as a key to something other than what we had. Both of us had strict rules for expected behavior and consistent enforcement to back them up. We were both rule followers--tell us something and we will do our best to comply. And I believe we did not rebel because we wanted more for ourselves; the opportunities offered were not worth the effort, so we lived peaceably within our fences. But compared to Char, my fences were on a 200 acre ranch while hers were the corral. Just this year, Char told me she had nothing to do at home but study which is why she was our Valedictorian. I, on the other hand became a great connoisseur of classic films, Night Tracks and Elsa Clinch on the up and coming Ted Turner networks.
Going to college was an expectation that I was keen to fulfill. But since there were only a handful of high school graduates in my entire family and only one that was actually enrolled in college, I didn't have much in the way of familial guidance in the practicalities of how to realize the expectation. Without Charlotte, I might still be stuck trying to figure it out. One day, she said, "I'm going to see Mr. Williams," the high school counselor. I asked why and she explained she wanted him to help her with the processes for getting into college. I asked if I could tag along. As simple as that I was on the road that would ultimately lead me to sitting on my balcony on an early Monday morning in a Los Angeles suburb reminiscing with a Bachelor's from Oklahoma State University and a Master's from the University of Hawaii. But back in 1983, I wasn't even on my radar that helping two girls get into college might be part of a counselor's job description.
Experience, self-awareness and hard effort has improved me over the years, but I still feel the shy, hesitant girl I was back then lurking in the corners of myself. With Char as my companion and me as her sidekick, we navigated the unknown waters of getting into college. I had my sights set on OSU--a larger university about 5 hours drive from Idabel. Char had her sites on Southeastern Oklahoma State University, roughly an hour and a half drive. I considered SOSU--it was cheaper and I had a scholarship offer. But as I often have in life--I wanted to go big--so OSU it would have to be. My first ACT score was mediocre and not good enough for an OSU tuition scholarship but I queried Mr. Williams what score I might need. He gave me a number and I vowed I would get it the next time, despite his cautioning that such a leap in score was unlikely. It was already written on the page in my book of life--I got the scholarship, I was bound for OSU.
So in the fall of 1984, we set out for our respective universities filled with excitement. I arrived in Stillwater, a fish out of water, but quickly realizing that the fresh air on land was sweet indeed. I screwed up my courage and entered my dorm room with a bubbly , distinct Southeastern Oklahoma drawl where each vowel is it's own syllable , "Haiii, I'm Lori, I'm very pleased to meet you." Later my roommate Shelly would tell me that she called home that evening to tell her mom that she was living with a hick. And here I thought I was being my most sophisticated self. Next, I went next door and and introduced myself to Karen and a bit later down the hall to meet Cathy and Anne. I was working overtime, trying to be friendly and outgoing, probably ended up being a bit annoying. But in the end, I was successful because Karen, Cathy, and Anne would remain with me as fast friends throughout the college years and right up to today.
Each of these women are perfectionists and it was from them that I learned how to be a college student. I never had to study in high school, I was satisfied with skating by with OK grades and graduated number 10 in my graduating class. To tell the truth, I found school tedious and numbing. Were I of a different temperament, I would have been the bane of every teacher's existence. I enjoyed reading and learning, but nothing in school inspired me. With a serious lack of study skills, I floundered around for a few weeks and didn't actually get in my stride when I realized I could make 4.0's with a little effort about 3 years in. Having high achieving friends eventually rubbed off on me. They modeled how to put effort into a project and be serious about achieving results.
So Char got me to college, but it was the friends I made that first day that kept me there. Cathy and Karen particularly were strong role models that I am still in awe of. They have always been my champions every step of the way. Karen to the point that she has visited me everyplace I have lived, financed two short term loans, cheered me on in Dublin at my first marathon and celebrated the last two milestone birthdays with me. It's not everyone that gets their own personal traveling cheerleader--yet, I have one. I feel extra special.
Thank you to all the friends that have not been singled out here. Each of you have made indelible marks on my life and with each step of the way improved me.